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Discussion: Pieces of the paper
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Webbmaster |
Pieces of the paper
Nov 24 2008, 11:43 PM EST
The intro starts in the middle of things, which is fine. I think the transition out of the initial scene is a little abrupt and awkward - the "Wrong" transition. See if you can make this transition more smooth, probably be being more orthodox with it. The thesis needs a little thought as to the wording. If the monument is largely forgotten, can it be important to memory? Anyway, you're getting the draft down and moving in a good direction with it.
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Webbmaster |
1. RE: Pieces of the paper
Nov 24 2008, 11:45 PM EST
Do be sure to get some description into the narrative - description of the surrounding locality, and especially description of the monument itself, including the graphics on it.
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