Location: Home Page for Abby Ihrke

Discussion: Sections of paperReported This is a featured thread

Category: Discussion Forum / General Discussion
Showing 3 posts
Webbmaster
Webbmaster
Sections of paper
Nov 24 2008, 11:32 PM EST | Post edited: Nov 24 2008, 11:32 PM EST
The background section you have posted, Abby, makes some good use of secondary literature. I want to suggest, however, that you eliminate the second-person usage at the start of it. Figure out how to express the opening without using "you." Do you find this valuable?    
Keyword tags: None
Webbmaster
Webbmaster
1. RE: Sections of paper
Nov 24 2008, 11:35 PM EST | Post edited: Nov 24 2008, 11:35 PM EST
The intro works nicely; I like the sketches of ND submariners, and they lead to your thesis. The thesis is clear. If you can condense the intro just a bit, do it; I may have some suggestions for cutting out a few words. Do you find this valuable?    
Webbmaster
Webbmaster
2. RE: Sections of paper
Nov 24 2008, 11:38 PM EST | Post edited: Nov 24 2008, 11:38 PM EST
Don't know if you've budgeted out the pages for your paper overall, but the main body appears a little short. It seems to me you could add more material on the Robalo, if you have it, and also more on the three ND submariners. Do you find this valuable?